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Frankly, Rhett, I Couldn't Give a Darn What You Own

Thursday, April 18, 2013
 No, honestly, it's your paycheque I'm after.
Oooh la la. Hits through the roof for yesterday's post, and almost entirely due to Facebook. However, I see that someone has sent it to Reddit (thank you), so we may even go viral.

Sadly, a Reddit reader entirely missed the point, and printed a little sermon about some study that showed that women find men more attractive the richer they are said to be, a study which he can't find right now. But anyway he says comparing women's attraction to men and men's attraction to women is like comparing apples and oranges, and obviously this Reddit reader was not in the Bloor Street Aveda that day I went in for a therapeutic massage and the masseur turned out to be, not an athletic chick named Ashley, but a six foot tall hottie named Branko. 

"Surely this should not be legal or even socially acceptable" was my thought at the time. "However, it is. La la!"

And you know what? I don't think I was even over thirty at the time. Since everybody and his uncle has been telling me that women are more attracted to men the more money the men make, I developed a theory that this becomes less true the older women get and the more money we make ourselves. But then, how to explain why twelve year old girls are attracted to certain twelve year old boys, and not to others? 

When scientists or "scientists" do sexuality studies entitled "Are Women Really The Money-Grubbing Bee-at-ches We Think They Are?" I hope they are paying attention to what age their subjects are and their economic status. For example, if anyone is going to be thinking about money, it's going to be the undergraduate woman about to be thrown into the scary world of employment, a world from which many of us flee by jumping straight into grad school. Maybe there's an  age-window or circumstances-window at which a woman's subconscious says, "Forget sexy eyebrows. I need food, shelter and a Prada bag." Or maybe not.

I really do not believe a straight line can be drawn between women's sexuality and men's money. Honestly. Really. Truly.  Women may sigh and shelve our personal preferences for reasons of survival or because nobody cares what we want, e.g. Afghan child brides, impoverished Pakistani teenagers, English Lit majors afraid of entry-level employment, but physicality will still dominate those perhaps secret preferences. Poor teenage boys will always be more attractive to teenage girls than rich old men with orange-peel skin, let's face it.

Actually, the people who need to face it are men. Women's sexuality scares the dickens out of many men, and I can well imagine them developing the old "women care only about money" theory, not just to look down on women, but to think money is the answer. After all, it is easier to earn and spend money than it is to look a certain way, or sound a certain way, or even to smell a certain way. It is easier for a frightened man to sulk at home and look at naked women on the internet than it is to go to the gym, or to learn to stop slouching, or to go to the dentist, or join a neighbourhood soccer team, or to put himself in the hands of a competent tailor and say "Fix me." Or to notice that women do indeed notice him, and he just hasn't noticed yet. 

Oh, and another thing. If women's sexuality is soooo bound up in money, explain cougars.

Nota Bene: This post is about sexuality, not relationship. Quite obviously (to women anyway), women are going to be sexually attracted to various men we would never be in a relationship with because we know that, for one reason or another, e.g. differing core values, a language gap, a previous commitment, it just would not work out.

Update: Hey, the Saudis read my blog!

Seraphic married a man because he was kind, funny, intelligent and, above all, pretty darned cute. So please pre-order her controversial novel Ceremony of Innocence from Ignatius Press, so she can add more to the family finances.