This past week has been one of the hardest of my life.
I could never wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy.
Hearing the news alone was gut-renching, but to see the person whom I love the most in the world suffering and not being able to do anything to help was horrible.
No matter what age, losing a parent is hard.
All I could do was to be there for him.
And his brother too, since his Fiance' was not allowed to leave her Residency Program in Chicago. I know being away from him was hard on her and I can't imagine how helpless she felt being so far away, while I was here with both of them and I was completely at a loss.
I really do not think I would have been able to make it through this week if not for some sweet words I received from a friend the morning after Lex's passing...
"Hold him close, remind him why he chose you as his wife.
Put the vows to test before they have even been spoken.
Allow him to have his roller coaster of emotions as you never leave his side,
and if he asks you to leave his side....don't go far.
They are our lives now.
And I think about you during this time as you share the pain."
Thank you Nic.
Your words helped hold me together and remind me that even though he may be lashing out at me it is not because he is angry with at me. He misses his best friend, his father, his buddy.
I love my fiance and I want nothing more in the world than for him to be happy.
Just like his father did. He wanted for everyone to be happy and always had a big smile on his face.
He would greet you at the door with a big hug and his European kisses. There was no avoiding it.
I tried. He would chase you. He would always tell you that he loved you and constantly told his two sons how proud of them he was. I know that Sam will one day be a great father too and tell our children how much he loves them every day. Just like his did.
