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The Broken Tree.

Monday, June 10, 2013
When I started this blog I did it with the intentions of creating a place where I could fully express myself and talk about the things in my life that I struggle with.  So far, looking back at my posts all I have done is chronicle my life.  I have been avoiding the truths. 
 Today, I move past that.  
I will be real.  
I will be me.
Here's the deal.
My family is weird.
and it has really fucked with my head.
Growing up I had ten grandparents and three great grandparents.  NOT normal folks. My grandparents have all been remarried at least three times. Yep.  I shit you not.  I now have seven remaining.  That is still too many.
And nobody gets along.  Swear to God.  They act like a bunch of damn kindergartners and don't know how to behave in public.  It is really no that hard to be civilized around each other for at least two hours.  Drives me nuts!
Reason being why none of them were invited to our engagement party we had this past weekend.
Don't get me wrong I love them all to death! I really do!
My own parents then jumped on the band wagon and got divorced when I was ten.  That is a rough age anyway. Add divorce on top. And I didn't know what the hell was going on.
It's hard enough for me just having to deal with my parents. Thank the good lord they both are commitment-phobes and haven't remarried...yet.
uggh just looking at this written down puts my stomach in knots.
Then there's my SamIam.  He handles everything much better than I do, of course.  His parents are also divorced.  His dad is currently on his fourth marriage and his mom is remarried as well.  Thankfully, he doesn't have any awkward siblings as remnants of those marriages.  It's just him and his brother who shares the same parents.
His dad constantly reminds me how many times he has been married and likes to offer up marriage advice by saying things like, "What I have learned from all of my marriages..." 
NO. Just stop.  I don't want any advice from your failures.
That is going to be one crooked and skanky looking family tree.  That's for sure. 
Here's what all of that means to my relationship and my own little family...
We WILL break the cycle.
This is something that SamIam and I have talked about a lot.
We are starting over. 
Our children's family trees will not look like ours.
When we get married it truly will be for forever.
Our vows will stand true in our relationship and will never be taken for granted.
That's all I have for today. 
 Just a little insight to my own personal crazy.

Mingle 240