The wedding season: Eat Dinner Uno.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Everyone has that friend who can't handle their adult beverages.I have TWO of said friends. Yes. You read that right. TWO.Lucky for me they are not in the same friend groups so I do not have to deal with them both at the same time.Both of these said friends are grown ass women. One is 30 and the other is 27. That is more than old enough to be out of your college drinking years.They both went to major SEC schools and you better believe they partied hardy while they were there! It is way past time for these ladies to have put on their big girl panties.This week I will tell you about the time M. (27) peed my bed...at my mother's house.dun.dun.dun.

On this fateful Thursday night, M and I were to attend a birthday dinner for a good friend of ours and decided it made more sense for us to ride together.

I met up with her at her place and hopped in her car with her.

This birthday dinner was being held at a restaurant called the Cantina.

(It is one of my favorites!)

Pomegranate margs were flowing. Yum!

I ate dinner. (I'm not one to miss a meal)

Red Flag #1. M didn't order anything. She said she was fine with just chips and salsa. The hell you are.

Since it was a birthday the tequila shots had to make an appearance of course!

I had 1. Pacing myself for the evening out while M had 3. Red Flag #2.

Then after dinner we all ventured over to Innisfree for some more good times. I got M a water and asked her to drink it before she drank anything else and she obliged. Don't worry I was shocked too.

...

Three hours later I was ready to go.

I found M gave her another glass of water just in case and we were on our way.

She seemed fine at this point. I swear.

Driving home M started to seem like she was not so fine and was driving like a crazy person. Oh becasue she is! I would tell her to slow down and she would for a second. Then I would look over and she would be going 80 mph. What the hell. NOT ok.

I finally convince her to pull over and to do so she cut across four lanes.

Thank god there wasn't anyone else around for her to kill.

We switched places and she immediately passed out in the passenger seat. Cool.

Instead of going back to her place I drove us to my mom's because it was closer and I knew my sister was home alone.

Getting her inside was a chore in itself. I tried to help her change clothes. She refused to wear pants.

Put her in my bed and I went and got in my mom's (she was out of town).

I wake up at 6:30 in the morning to my sister screaming about the dogs being out. How in the hell? Apparently the front door was wide open...I didn't use the front door.

We came in through the basement.

I go downstairs to check on M. She is gone. The covers are thrown off the bed. I touch it. It's wet. Great. Real great.

I go back upstairs and my sister is still screaming, but instead she is screaming about how M came into her room at 3 am asking where the front door was. What?? My sister thinking it was me told her to get the hell out. M then goes in her bathroom and shuts the door. After being in there for a while my sister gets up and goes to see what is going on. Realizing it is M, she tells her to go back to bed. From what we could gather M walked back down the stairs from my sister's room and straight out the front door. Still no pants on. Leaving it wide open for the dogs to escape. Our best guess is that M then drove home. So safe. who pees the bed at someone's house na dthen leaves?? Especially when you are good friends with that person? Like I am really not going to notice?

Did I mention the part where my sister had school this morning? She was ready to kill me.

Moral of this story: Eat dinner before you try to go out and be a booze hound.