Gentlemen's Day

Happy Saint Joseph's Day! Today the Eavesdroppers are invited to read and to comment in the comboxes of the past few days. If your comment doesn't stick, you've commented on a day I haven't included in the amnesty. If your comments disappear, it's because you have been egregiously naughty. That said, I am going to keep a light hand on the "delete" button today. Plain-speaking men, rejoice!

Now, a letter from a gent:

Dear Auntie Seraphic,

>>Eavesdroppers are welcome to submit topics they think I should address, and only men will be able to comment that day. How exciting!

I think I’ll take you up on this generous offer, considering that your blog is one of the few well-written, sane places on the internet where these topics are discussed. 

I quote a comment from a few days ago:

“I'm a lot more interested in why it seems so much harder for Catholic/Christian men to ask women out than it is for secular men. I for one tend to date more non-believers than believers and while the Catholic men/women I know are surprised at that, it honestly boils down to the fact that the ratio of Catholic men making the first innocent move (such as an invitation to coffee) is dismal as compared to the secular men, at least in my experience.”

The counterpoint to this question would be “Why does it seem so much harder for Catholic/Christian women to accept date invitations than for secular women”? There have been a couple instances when I asked out a Catholic woman and she anxiously mulled it over for days before saying “we don’t know each other well enough to date” or something to that effect. Other Catholic/Christian men have made similar observations, and have noted that secular women accept invitations more readily.

The proper answer to this may be that those aren’t typical women’s reactions and there’s no broad lesson to be learned here. Still, enough men have observed what I’ve observed to possibly make this a topic of broad interest for the blog.

This all might have something to do with the fact that, in [American] Catholic circles, everyone knows you don’t date unless you’re planning to marry and you don’t date anyone you wouldn’t marry… therefore, nobody will date unless they’re sure that they’re ready to marry that person RIGHT NOW… I think both men and women have seen how this logic seems sound but leads to absurd outcomes.

It's Just a Coffee

Dear It's Just a Coffee,

Thank you very much for taking up my offer. That is a brilliant observation, if I may say so. I would not be surprised if this has indeed become a problem in Catholic circles. 

Indeed, so convinced I am that Catholic girls are asked "Coffee?" and hear "Marry me?" that I constantly harangue them that it's just coffee and they should go out and drink some. In your case, I would strongly recommend saying something like "It's not a date. It's a pre-date."

Oh my goodness, I think I have invented a whole new dating category! How to copyright and market it? Hmm....

Grace and peace,

Seraphic 

Other gentlemen's letters welcome. As always, I will edit them so that no-one (hopefully) can guess who you, are, even if you comment in the combox.

Update: Notorious eavesdroppers who long for distraction and so keep checking for other guys' comments should leave comments of their own. P.S. The girls asked their questions here.