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The Break Up

Monday, September 9, 2013
Sometimes, you just don't feel like sharing.
I'm not going to apologize for that.
I have had a lot going on lately and have been struggling with some big life decisions. 
So, I took some time to myself to really think about what I wanted to do and what I needed to do.
This is a very small piece of what has been going on inside my head....
 A break up. Of a friendship, that is.
I think it really can be worse than an actual break up with a significant other.
Senior Prom
 What is the appropiate way to handle this kind of situation?
Correct answer...there isn't one.
 This happened a little over a year ago and I really have just now come to terms with the fact that this person is no longer in my life.
We had been friends for over 14 years. 
We met in the fourth grade and were friends all through Middle School,
inseperable in High School and during College.
And through all of her "serious" boyfriends...that treated her like crap.
Until the one that treated me like crap too,
 when I had been nothing but nice to him and even tried to be his friend.
She was the brunette to my blonde.
I miss my friend like crazy.
She was supposed to be in my wedding; instead,I didn't even call her when I got engaged.
She was in the wrong. I gave it time. 
I reached out to make the effort despite all of my disappointment...and nothing.
My mom and sister would see her around all the time, and she would approach them to say hello.
She had plenty of oppurtunities to make this right.
But no way in Hell am going to beg for her friendship. 
I certainly don't need her that bad if she could not be there for me.
I don't need the negativity.
Here is what I have learned through all of this...
1.  If your boyfriend ever tells you that he is going to break up with you if you don't stop hanging out with a girlfriend that you have known for half your life...ditch that asshole.  You can't change a jealous person.  That is a serious sign of control issues and abuse to come.
2. If your boyfriend ever calls you and your girlfirend repeatedly while you are out and will not stop harassing you even though he knows where you are...that is called psychodialing...for a reason!  He's not worth it.
3. If your boyfriend ever snatches you up by the arm...this is a giant CLUE.  Get out now!
4. If your boyfriend ever tells you that you are not allowed to go to the funeral of a friend because someone you once dated might be there...that is fucked up.
5. Above all else...Be true to yourself.
These are not small or things that you can live with.  They are all signs of control issues.
You can't help a person that doesn't want to change.
These are my own opinions based on my own personal experiences.